(Quantum Computing: a subject so beyond me I don't even understand the cartoon...)
So in all the traveling snippets I have given you about Aussie Bob, I have neglected to tell you about one of his most crucial and charming personality quirks-- Bob is a perpetually validated theorizer. When Bob materializes at the door, often with a cup of coffee in hand, he always has a story AND a theory ready to share. All of these theories are quite colorful and interesting and some of these theories have some sort of factual base. But whether he is right or wrong, has backing or not, Bob manages to tell these theories with such conviction and such flourish that the credence is of little import, or rather just part of the overall amusement of the situation.
On the occasion of our latest chat, over a delicious lunch, I tell Bob how I had just heard from Tash and John about a friend getting a PhD in Quantum Computing. Until now, I wasn't even aware of this new push into technological and theoretical bounds, and I wanted to share this amazing discovery with Bob. After mentioning this, Bob got this familiar twinkle in his eye and started with his usual "ahhhh...." (how he launches into every story or theory, fact or fiction.) He then goes on to tell me that he has read a lot about this. I was so excited-- Bob has an amazing store of knowledge and he truly knows something about almost everything. As I am pretty much clueless on this whole subject, I anxiously awaited some interesting anecdote to reveal to me something that I didn't know about Quantum Computing, (which would be just about everything.)
Taking a cue from my receptive posture, Bob launched into a story about how, a few years back, (and everything is a few years back for Bob-- the assassination of Kennedy as well as the founding of Australia,) there was this huge volcanic eruption that sent a gigantic dust cloud into the atmosphere. Worried about what the atmospheric effects of the dust cloud would be, the meteorologists, (according to Bob), used a new machine they had built that relied on Quantum Computing to predict the fallout. The information that this machine fed out, (once again according to Bob,) captured the effects perfectly and was the only 100%
accurate prediction of an atmospheric phenomena in history. Now, just to reiterate, I know NOTHING about Quantum Computing except that it is fun to say because it makes you feel smart. So other than being able to pronounce the words, everything to do with Quantum Computing is over my head. But, even from this point of complete ignorance, I can still sniff out a suspect claim. I told Bob that I was a bit dubious about his story, but he only responded with more certainty and a longer anecdote. I decided to let it go, to keep my reservations to myself, and to check on Google-- my general knowledge lifeline. I couldn't find the specific instance he referred to, but I can pretty safely say that the black hole of Quantum Computing has never been used in practical atmospheric modeling.
But, in the end, facts be damned. Isn't it so much more glamorous to imagine that this super-human, super-nerd computing system has been utilized in the real world to save the dusty day? Thus, even in his sometimes questionable theorizing, Bob is the best. Even if his theories don't always hold practical or factual weight, they produce such a great fantasy that I will choose his construction over any actuality. I think he would have been the best grand-dad, I can only imagine the stories he would have told a young Aussie bouncing on his knee!
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